When Anxiety and Physical Symptoms Show Up: A Gentle Reframe and Ways to Respond

When anxiety and physical symptoms arise, our first instinct is to control or fix them. What if there was another way?

A Question from a Reader

Today’s topic is by request from a dear reader. They wrote:

"When I face a stressful situation — even something small, like going in for a routine screening test, or meeting a family member — anxiety kicks in and shows up through various physical symptoms. I try to calm myself down with self-talk but it rarely helps. Do you have any advice for managing this kind of anxiety and the physical reactions that come with it?"

I’m grateful for this thoughtful and honest question. You’re not alone in this experience, so many of us feel this kind of anxious activation in our bodies even before something happens, especially when it’s something uncertain or emotionally charged, or even just a variation from our routine.

Why Self-Talk Often Doesn’t Work

You mentioned trying to calm yourself down with self-talk, and noticing that it rarely helps. That makes a lot of sense. When our nervous system has shifted into a stress response (what we often call fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or flop), the thinking, reasoning parts of our brain aren’t in charge. Our body is responding as if there’s a real threat in front of us, and no amount of telling ourselves “it’s fine, this is safe, I am OK” will register if our system doesn’t feel safe.

As always, I'll offer a few threads as invitations.

Take what feels useful or intriguing, or what you'd like to experiment with.

A Gentle Reframe: From Managing to Tending To

The first thread is the possibility of a gentle reframe: from managing to tending to. See if you can feel into both phrases and notice what arises in your experience as you experiment with each.

How Anxiety and Physical Symptoms Get Activated

Something that may be helpful to know here is how our responses of anxiety and physical manifestations get activated. As neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux and others have shown, our nervous system can react before we’re even consciously aware of what’s happening, and this, in turn, activates protective responses in different organs and systems of our bodies. Also, our nervous system doesn’t only respond to actual danger. It responds to perceived threat, and that perception is shaped by past experiences, learned associations, and the brain’s attempts to predict what might happen.

Even something that doesn’t consciously feel scary, like a routine appointment, a conversation, or a change in schedule, can activate a protective response if a part of us has come to associate it with discomfort or risk. It’s not because we’re imagining it or overreacting. It’s because our brain is trying to protect us based on what it’s learned, and it doesn’t always get it right.

For those of us who have experienced persistent pain or other symptoms, our nervous system is usually erring on the side of caution, because it is intent on keeping us safe.

Why Trying to Control Anxiety Can Backfire

Often, there is a very understandable pull to try to stop the anxiety or physical symptoms — to fix or make them go away, or even prevent them from happening.

I’ve found myself wanting to do this so many times, and every time I’m reminded that when I approach them this way, trying to control, I’m often reinforcing the idea that something is wrong, that these sensations are dangerous or need to be shut down.

And that message, even if it’s subtle, can actually turn the volume up on the threat response and increase our sense of fear, resistance, and tension.

Cultivating a Different Way to Respond

So the question becomes: How do we cultivate a different way of responding to our experience?

How do we relate to the anxiety and physical manifestations arising? Can we meet our full experience with kindness, instead of trying to wrestle with it or push it away? Can we soften, just a little, in the presence of what’s showing up in our body, heart, and mind?

These reactions — the tightness, the racing thoughts, the unease, the pain, the digestive symptoms — aren’t signs that something’s wrong with you. They’re signs that your bodymind is trying to protect you.

Creating a Sense of Inner Safety Through Care

We can create a sense of inner safety for that part of us by offering space, curiosity, and care.

Sometimes this sounds like:

“Of course you’re anxious, uncertainty and changes in routine feel challenging. I’m here with you.”

Or:

“This experience is other than easeful, and pleasant, and calm, and I can be gentle and kind with myself through it.”

And sometimes it isn’t only (or at all) about self-talk, but about showing ourselves that we are held and safe through acknowledgment and care, through body-based practices that help us feel a little more steady, a little more grounded, a little softer or more spacious.

Some examples are:

• Gentle breathing

• Placing your hand on your chest or belly

• Mindful movement

• Humming or singing

• Resting in a position that feels safe and supported

Practices like yoga nidra or guided body scans can also be a way to reconnect with a sense of softening and ease.

The goal here is not to stop the anxiety, or interrupt the physical reactions. It’s more about creating just a little bit more ease, a little bit more softening.

Reweaving Your Nervous System Over Time

Over time, as we shift how we respond when anxiety and physical reactions show up, we are weaving new neural pathways and the intensity, frequency, and duration of anxiety and physical reactions will change.

One final note: we are not aiming for perfection here, but for returning to the practice, time and again, with compassion for the ways in which we struggle. The way we respond to ourselves in these moments matters. It can be a doorway to greater ease, one breath, one small step at a time.

Resources for You

• If you want to geek out on the neuroscience of the threat response, here is a paper written by Joseph LeDoux .

• If you want to practice with me, you’ll find resources here to tend to your experience with care and expansiveness. You might enjoy playing with the Somatic Gestures for Opening Up and Allowing, or practicing Soften, Soothe, and Allow.

If you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear what resonates with you, what feels challenging, and what feels supportive. You’re always welcome to write and tell me what you discover.

For personalized support to heal chronic symptoms or mentorship for mindbody practitioners, schedule a Wayfinding Session.